Can't Speak

Wow!  I am sitting here TIRED!  I haven't been feeling well the past week.  It started out as allergies but they creep up on me so fast.  I am feeling better today, still no voice but I FEEL okay.  Which is great because I hate to FEEL bad.  I decided since I can't talk very well that I could try to type.  So far my finger functionality is 100% so typing it is!  (I apologize in advance for jumping around, I've got a lot on my mind today.)

I am at a loss of words a lot of the time.  (Pun intended since I can't talk well right now.)  In the midst of the moodiness and downright BLEH feeling lately, God is right beside me holding me!  All the way to the depths He's holding me.  All the way to the heights, He's holding me.  He's got me.  It doesn't matter how I feel about Him, life, my circumstances; He always feels the same with me.  I know this because I live it out daily.  I make mistakes OVER and OVER and OVER again.  But He is there to catch me, actually I believe He's holding me as I fall.  My choices and feelings don't hold Him back from loving me. 

Okay... I've got that out... I feel better.  Man, I knew this sit down and take a few minutes to write would help me out. So awesome!  Thanks for letting me "speak".

MOTHER QUOTE

“Increasingly, I find that women are unsure about what it means to be a good mother. They are confused by a culture that send them drastically mixed messages about the importance of a mother’s influence and whet her priorities should be. As a result, so many mothers I meet are baffled and frustrated. They don’t know how to reconcile these conflicting messages with the calling of God on their hearts and lives.

What’s the cure for this confusion? I believe it lies with a rediscovery of the traditional mission of motherhood, a rediscovery of what God had in mind when he designed families. And the fundamental mission of motherhood now is the same as it always was: to nurture, protect, and instruct children, to create a home environment that enables them to learn and grow, to help them develop a heart for God and His purposes, and to send them out into the world prepared to live both fully and meaningfully. It’s up to us to embrace that mission as our own, trusting God to walk us through the details and to use our willing mothers’ hands as instruments of his blessings.”

~Sally Clarkson, The Mission of Motherhood

God's Kids

 

This picture has nothing to do with this post.  I just thought it was fun!  Such cuties.  

The more and more I think about what it is to be a mom the more and more I find out that it's nothing like what I first thought it should be.  I mean, it is exactly what I thought it was but it's so much MORE than that.  Examples… I have some!  

I thought that these were MY children.  That once I gave birth to them I got to shape them and mold them into who I wanted them to be.  I thought that I got to be the one to decide how they were disciplined, and teach them right from wrong.  

The truth is that these thoughts have truth to them.  But they aren't exact or complete.  My kids, as I've come to realize, were never mine.  I was never the one that was supposed to decide what they were to do with their lives.  God had on his mind what these girls were going to do with their lives.   (Romans 8:30 "Morevoer whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified.") 

He CREATED my girls.  He made them with the EXACT personalities that they were supposed to have.  He made them and WHO HE MADE THEM TO BE I'm not supposed to change.  That means that my job with my girls (yes I still can say "my girls" because He's entrusted my husband and I with these precious girls while we're on this earth) is to direct them, teach them how to hear the voice of the Lord.  It's not so much to keep them "in line" but to teach them how to be dependent on Him.  When they know how to do that, they will have EVERY answer to life's questions. 

We were reading a book today in school that is called "Hero Tales".  It is a collection of writings about a bunch of different people, Godly people.  People who put their faith in the Lord.  Today we read about George Muller.  He is amazing to me.  He started an orphanage and one day they didn't have any food.  He got all the kids up to the table to eat breakfast and then began to pray… he prayed and thanked God for the food that they were going to eat that day.  A knock came at the door, fresh bread.  Another knock, fresh milk.  WOW!!!  What faith.  One of the things that struck me the most about this man and his family when we read was that he didn't ask people for anything.  He COMPLETELY relied on the Lord.  Whenever there was a need he would ask God to fill that need.  Whenever his family needed money, He'd ask the Lord not a person.  Whenever he saw a homeless person or someone in need he gave ALL that he had, knowing that God would provide for his family.  When someone tried to start a fund for him he graciously declined because he didn't want to be reliant on a bank account, he wanted to rely on the Lord.  SO AMAZING!!!  So different than how I think about things.

So back to my girls… I need to trust God with their EVERYTHING.  I'm going to try not to screw up but when I do, because I will, I need to trust that God is going to use that!  I need to do my part and apologize and teach them by example how to make things right, but know without a shadow of a doubt that God already has a BIG plan for them.  That the enemy CANNOT thwart what God is going to do in their lives.  Thank you God!!  There will be times of correction and discipline.  There will be times that we need to teach our kids right and wrong.  There will be times that we need to teach them how to be obedient and how to listen and how to talk.  Doing those things is not wrong.  I have just come to realize that there is MORE.  Teaching them how to listen to the voice of the Lord is the MOST important thing.  When they leave my home they will not always call me, they will not always be able to get a hold of me.  They won't always have me to fall back on, I will someday not be here anymore.  But God will be.  They will always be able to fall into His arms.  They will ALWAYS be able to call on Him.  They will ALWAYS be able to get a hold of Him!  That's who He is.  That's what He's promised.

So next time you and I want to beat ourselves up for making a dumb parenting decision, we need to remember that these kids of ours are really GOD'S.  He's got them!  Our dumb decisions followed by a wise, Godly decision, helps our kids learn.  He set them in our families for a reason.  He knew that YOU would be your kid's parents.  My girls will be strong! I should take extra care to treat them as such.  Princes and Princesses of the ALMIGHTY KING!  With this, as I tell my girls, comes a special responsibility, which I won't get into now or this will be really long!  Until next time…. Bye!

Esther... no ordinary decision

I just got done reading the book of Esther.  A book of the Bible that I absolutely love.  I love that God used an ordinary person to do an extraordinary thing. Esther was ordinary… well, almost.  She was ordinary except for that she trusted in the Lord with all of her heart.  That is not ordinary.  A person who is willing to go to the king, knowing that she could die.  Knowing that if he doesn't want her there she will surely die.  She was an ordinary person, she had an extraordinary faith, an extraordinary love for her people.  She knew that if she didn't do SOMETHING that there would be NOTHING!  She would be without her people… and could ultimately be put to death herself. 

She steps out.  I'm pretty sure she wasn't comfortable in doing so.  I know this because she had a meeting with the king and Haman and doesn't say anything.  She invites them to another dinner and finally spills her guts about what is troubling her.  She was nervous.  She was afraid.  She was hesitant.  But she did what she knew she had to do.  ONE DECISION, that's all it takes to make a HUGE difference.  ONE DECISION!  WOW.

I love that at the end of the book of Esther the Jews are not only saved but they overpower those who hate them (Esther 9:1b).  They know the power of the Lord.  Haman gets hung with the work of his own hands.  He had a gallows prepared for Mordecai and the king decides to hang Haman on it.  Haman was so jealous of Mordecai he couldn't see straight, and then when he finally finds a way to get rid of him, the king finds out who Haman really is.

That's just like God isn't it.  We try and take our vindication for ourselves.  Revenge.  But the Lord says that He will vindicate us.  He WILL have justice.  Now that usually does not look like what we think it should look like.  He is also a forgiving, loving, sacrificing Father so He does things out of LOVE that seem CRAZY.  When you are crazy about someone you sometimes do weird things.  In God's case He does CRAZY things but they are PERFECTLY CRAZY!  He is God.  So as you go about your day today and every day ask yourself what decision can you make, can I make, that just might change somebody's forever.

Long Way Home

We went back home in July for Micah's sister's wedding. She is now happily married and I'm so excited for her and proud of her.  Here are some pictures of things we did on our trip.  I noticed that I don't have any pictures of Micah and I on Erin's wedding day which I'm not super happy about. Hopefully Erin's photographer has some that I can get. Anyways.... enjoy!
 

While we were back home Grandpa Ozzie taught the girls how to ride a dirt bike.  Oh boy were they thrilled!

Syssa caught on really quick.

Samara's turn to try it out.

She caught on really quickly too.

Nattie even gave it a shot.  Grandpa kept a hold of the throttle so she couldn't take off... or else I think she would have!

During our visit we all got haircuts.  Here's Nattie.

Samara

Syssa

Me

Micah and his mom.

Erin and her mom.

Girl night doing pedicures and painting toenails.

This was the old schoolhouse that they had the reception in.  I got to ride on scaffolding and put up the tool on the ceiling.  It was fun!  They got married on the lawn of this same schoolhouse.

Mama Jay already is emotional.

My three princesses.  And we already had a talk about how they had to space their weddings apart by more than a year each so I don't go crazy.  Maybe it's too early to talk about that with my girls but just in case it's not too early we've had a discussion... and they agreed.

Natalie and Samara were her flower girls and Syssa was a junior bridesmaid.  This is the girl side of the wedding party.

Me and my three.

Me

Mama Jay, Papa Oz, and the three.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The drive back home was long but it was a lot of fun doing it with my husband.  And the girls were pretty good traveling buddies too.  They watched movies and read books most of the time.  I LOVE my in car DVD system.

Hills

When I used to run cross country there was a hill at one of our meets in Reno.  Everyone hated tis hill because it was HARD-crazy HARD!  It was a windy hill and it was pretty steep.  The downhill portion of this hill was what everyone liked.  You could really pick up speed on the decline.

I must've been foolish-crazy even because I actually liked going up the hill.  Maybe the reason I liked doing this was because I was just different than everyone else.  I've never been like everyone else.  Another reason I think I liked doing the uphill was because that's where my legs and character were built.  It wasn't just about getting to the top, it was about the strength gained from pushing through, from not giving up.

Maybe I didn't pick up as much speed as I thought on the downhill.  I mean, I'm sure I picked up some, maybe even a lot of speed, but because my legs were so tired and rubbery--maybe that's why I felt like I was soaring down the hill.

People go through so much in life. Some of it is just being dealt a bad hand.  Some of it is that we give away good cards and trade them or even steal bad ones.  We do this by making bad decisions or doing something that we thought felt good at the time but ended up being not so good for us.  No matter what the reason is for our hard times-it still sucks.  There is retribution for those things but the consequences, most of the time, remain.

In life's uphill climbs, whether we are climbing because of a consequence, a bad hand, or just life, it's the attitude, and a teachable spirit that makes the biggest difference.  In every situation we shouldn't question "why is this happening to me?" or "why isn't life fair?" it's more about "what can I learn from this situation?"  I need to remember that with every step I take.

Past.... Present... Future

As I'm reading the book "The Intentional Woman" I am reminded of my past.  I don't really care for going back into my past, unless I know there is something else to be learned from what I've gone through.  Some people would say that my past wasn't hard and that I should be able to get over it easily.  Others would say that my past was excruciatingly difficult and they don't understand how I got through.  I know this because people who have heard bits and pieces of my story have said these things to me.  I have come to the conclusion that it doesn't really matter what others think about my past and what I've gone through.  It only matters how I take it and who I become in spite of and because of those things, good and bad.

I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that I didn't take the events of my life very well.  I had a bad attitude about most of it for a really long period of time.  I was unforgiving and bitter.  I didn't want to be different.  I felt like this is who I am and if anybody had a problem with it then too bad.  I realize now that my heart was broken and I needed it to be healed.  I needed to forgive people so that I could move on with my life.  I was able to, after a lot of soul searching and prayer, have been able to do that.

I totally believe that ALL, every single second of my life up to this point, has made me into the person that I am today; the mother, the wife, the daughter, the child of God, the friend all of the facets of who I am.  I know that I can make it through in every aspect of my life because I've already made it through so much.  I don't regret any choices that I've made, good or bad, because I've learned so much from each decision.  I have had to pay consequences that really BITE, that I never thought would come out of my foolish actions.  But TODAY as of right now I am content knowing that I've grown into the person that I am supposed to be RIGHT NOW.

I haven't dwelt a lot on the future.  I know that God has a plan for me in my future but it's not something that consumes my thoughts because I don't really know what it holds, and because some days, being a mom of three darling but energetic little girls, I don't know exactly how I'm going to get through the day, let alone tomorrow.  Recently, however, I have been thinking a little bit more about the future.  I am being pulled in that direction.  Realizing that I am living the dream that I've always had, teaching, I also am aware that my students won't be in school forever.  I am teaching the three most incredible, intelligent, wonderful girls on the face of this planet.  Okay so I'm a little biased since they are my own.  At some point they are going to graduate high school, sooner than I know, and I will have completely fulfilled an incredible dream.  I have been feeling the pull to find something more.  Not that my children, husband, and friends aren't enough, I just have this drawing to even more for my life.  I don't really know what it is.  I don't really understand what I am going to do next.  So, I'm going to wait on the Lord to reveal it to me.  But while I'm waiting I'm going to start trying new things.  I'm going to start really seeing where my talents lie.  I told a friend that I would really like to paint.  She asked why I wasn't trying it then and I said that I wasn't good at it and she asked how do I know I'm bad.  Well, I've never tried it so I don't really know, I just don't think I would be.  She said that I should give it a try.  So that's what I'm going to do.  Not just with painting but with a lot of other ideas that I have too.

I want my girls to be able to look at their mom and get inspiration.  Not the feeling that Mommy is just "stuck at home with kids" but that this is where I want to be, no that I LOVE being, BUT that I try new, different, uncomfortable things so that I can figure out the "what next?".  I want my children to DREAM, to think big, to know that God has GINORMOUS things for them and that they have to figure out what He has for them.  I believe that my past and my present don't define my future, they help it and grow me, but they don't define it.  What I start to DREAM and what I do with those God-given dreams is what defines my future.  I want my girls to KNOW that.

The only thing that this post has to do with the book is that I am going to start living intentionally.  I want to start dreaming!  I want to start something new!  I love the quote our pastor says sometimes.  "Everyone ends up somewhere.  Few end up somewhere on purpose."  I want to purposefully live!  I want to END UP where I do ON PURPOSE!  So raise your glasses with me if you are daring enough, and let's step out together, and make a commitment.  A toast to DREAMS, to DREAMING, to LIVING a life of PURPOSE, to doing things that not only make us happy but that bring GLORY and HONOR to God!

Reading A Book

I started this blog to kind of keep track of our family.  No, I don't mean like a GPS system to tell me where they are at, I mean more of my thoughts and feelings as well as what's going on with us.  I'm going to continue to use this blog for that reason but add book reviews, thoughts, etc.... just whatever I want.  So here it goes.

I'm reading a book with the ladies at my church called "The Intentional Woman:  A Guide to Experiencing the Power of Your Story".  So far I'm only a page in so I don't really know a whole lot of what it's about except that I really like the idea.  I was thinking about it as I started reading and a thought popped into my head.  My story is a small chapter in God's great book that is set in this time and place so HE can accomplish GREAT, POWERFUL, and SIGNIFICANT things. 

Each and every one of us has a great story.  The good times, the bad times, all this makes us who we are.  It gives us something to fight for, to believe in.  As I go through this book I might just write about some of my feelings and some of the things I discover about myself. 

For Santa or Against Santa... or neutral

There are so many people writing blogs and such about their feelings about Christmas.  Should our family or should we not use Santa?  Is it lying to our kids?  How do we keep Christ in Christmas?  These are all questions that parents ask themselves around this time of year.  This is what our family has decided to do, but your children may be a lot different than mine so follow the Holy Spirit's leading in what you are to do with your own family. 

When we'd ask Samara, our middle child, what the difference between Santa and Jesus Samara would say "Jesus has power!"  Love kids...

Last year was the worst Christmas year with whining and asking for stuff.  The girls wanted a million things and "Santa" just couldn't make them all in that short period of time (he didn't have enough money either).  Finally we decided, after Christmas to let our girls know that Sanata was fiction not fact.  We just want their focus to be on Jesus and we really just wanted them to understand that we Santa wasn't giving somebody else more expensive things and them less expensive things just because they were more naughty.

Since we have told them that Santa isn't real (we have explained to them about St. Nicholas) they have been less demanding and I believe MORE happy.  We still DO Santa.  Their hge saying now is that Santa is real... it's Mommy and Daddy.  We still have a Christmas tree and Santa decorations with elves and the like.  BUT we are FOCUSING our attention more and more every year on Jesus.  This year we are going to make a manger, minus the hay.  In the manger we are each going to write 3 things that we are going to try harder to give to Jesus throughout the year.  We're changing a few other things too.

I don't believe that you have to DO Christmas a certain way to be doing it RIGHT.  There is no correct way.  I DO believe however that whatever convictions your family has that you should live those out.  This is what our family is doing... what is it that the Holy Spirit is leading YOURS to do? 

In closing I do think that everyone should raise the level of talk and display of Jesus in their lives.  This isn't just something that I think but it's Biblical.  This season is a great reminder of what He came to do for us but He did so much more than we could think about before and after His birth.  Thanks for listening to me blab.  I've read so many blogs on this topic I guess I just wanted to throw in my two cents.

Natalie's 4!

Nattie turned four on the 29th of August.  She thinks she can do everything her sisters can.  She doesn't realize she's just a little bit smaller than they are.  She is a firecracker of a child and I love her to pieces!  We went to Willie's with a couple of our family's friends for her birthday, they have a sandbox so it's the PLACE to be.  Here are some pictures of the day.

It's been REALLY hot here so I made this cake and then the frosting melted right off it.  Okay so it was a couple different things that made the frosting melt off it.  Part was the heat and part was because I should've refrigerated the frosting before I started.  So, this is what happens to most of the stuff I do like this so I'm not really worried.  Those are supposed to be flowers on it by the way.

Some of Nattie's friends!

It turned out to be a great day.  I hate that my little girl is growing up yet at the same time I'm loving it!  She is just showing more and more of her personality, she's got a LOT of it.

Cardboard Dollhouse

I think it was for Christmas that Meemo and Old Grandpa got the girls this cardboard dollhouse. We decided to finally build it two days ago and finished it up yesterday. We had a jammie day yesterday too so the girls had a lot of fun.

The girls worked so hard on it. They had to tell Nattie multiple times not to scribble on everything. She loves to help and be a big girl but doesn't have the patience to sit and color in the lines.
The front of the finished dollhouse. The front and back yards are the box that everything came in. The whole thing is made out of cardboard. It's actually really cute, and such a good idea.

The back of the house.

A closer look at the inside of the house. The little furniture pieces are also made of paper. It even came with paper to put on the floor as carpet. They have had a lot of fun playing with it already but have to be reminded quite a bit that it is just paper so they have to be careful... hopefully nothing gets put into anybodys mouth!

Cow Day At Chick-Fil-A

Every year Chick-Fil-A has Cow Appreciation Day. If you dress like a cow you get free food. If you dress like a cow from head to toe you get a free meal and if you dress up a little bit you get a free chicken sandwich. We got 4 free meals today. Here are the cute pictures of the day.

Making their cow costumes.
I printed off the tails and the ears from Chick-Fil-A's website.

Yes, even I dressed up... free food!! We had a blast!

Our free lunch.

This is such a blast every year. If you have a Chick-Fil-A near you, mark your calendar for next year.... or go tonight!

Update on the Garden

I haven't posted about my garden in a small while and I need to get a picture on here as to what the whole thing looks like now. I have a picture on here from a while ago but it's just not the same as it is now by a long shot. Well, maybe not a LONG shot but you get the idea.

We have gotten about 8-9 zucchinis out of our garden so far. Lovin' it! If you have a zucchini recipe for me I'd love to have it! We also got 5 green beans out of the garden yesterday. A little prematurely picked but I was just so excited about them I couldn't help myself. I think something is eating the buds off my tomato plants and I'm not sure what to do about it. It's either that or the sun scorches them and then they fall off. Hopefully I can figure it out and get them to produce fruit.
One of the green beans on the vine.

The garden. This just doesn't do the garden justice. I will have to take a picture tomorrow and post it. It's grown so much!

I think this was our first zuchinni we picked. It grew up against the edge of our garden box so I had to pick it.

All of these tomatoes have ripened and have been eaten now. They are yellow pear tomatoes (although according to Nattie they are orange) and they are like cherry tomatoes. They are quite good!

We accidentally picked a really small zucchini trying to pick a bigger one. Here is Nattie modeling the vegetables.

School's Out For Summer... well sorta

I was debating on whether or not I wanted to post this on my family blog or on my homeschool blog and I decided that this was the place for it to go since it's not homeschooling and I'll have a TON of homeschooling pictures coming soon since Alyssa's already ready to tackle 3rd grade. I'm not going to be teaching them hard core during the summer but bits and pieces to see where they are and get them to where they need to be if they aren't there yet, which they probably are ready to go.

Here are some of the pictures we took at their "celebrations" at their school on the last day. Enjoy!

Samara and her best friend Isaiah.
Samara and her teacher. We are so proud of Samara!! And her teacher did a wonderful job this year!

Nattie thinks she should be able to join her sister in whatever she's doing since she is "big" enough. She says, "I know what to do and I will be a big girl!" Haha. Usually she's right but this time there was no way she was going to be allowed to go stand by Samara while Samara was doing her songs, etc at her celebration. Sorry Nattie Grace, maybe next year!

Samara holding her certificate! So excited!!

Alyssa's teacher did a slide-show presentation for the families and then let each of us take a DVD of it home. She is so thoughtful. I'm so proud of Alyssa, she did an excellent job this year. There were so many obstacles that she had to face, some of which she didn't know how to handle, but when it was said and done I think she showed 2nd grade who was boss! Hehe.

Nattie and Alyssa waiting for the presentation to start. So cool.

Alyssa giving her teacher one last hug before hitting the door.

Alyssa and one of her good friends since last year, A.J.

Alyssa, Samara, and Natalie, we are so proud of all three of you girls. You are such sweet girls and love to learn. I am so glad that Daddy and I get the opportunity to help you through life. I hope and pray that you will learn and grow all that you need to know and I have no doubt that you will do great things with your lives! Thanks for being AWESOME!!!

Oh and I put School's Out For Summer... well sorta as the title because technically school's out but it's only been 2 days and I've already gotten asked about a million times if I could teach each of the girls. Yes, they really do LOVE to learn.