I am sitting here on my couch, I should be teaching my kids since it's a home school day, but it's raining out and I'm in slow-mo mode. I'm going through pictures and realizing how much my kids have grown up, and then I came across a couple pics of me and I realized how much I had grown up.
We have been in the adoption process for 3 1/2 years now. We are adopting sisters ages 12 and 13. We never planned on adopting teenagers, when we started this process they were 9 and 10. But now everything has changed. I think of those ages and wonder first of all what am I going to do with teenagers. I'm not ready for teenagers yet! And then I think about some of the hormonal challenges my 8 and 10 year old girls are facing, thank God the 6 year old hasn't hit that stage yet, although she has other things she likes to test me with.
Throughout these last 3 1/2 years I've screamed, cried, lost hope, given up, been excited, felt like I was on cloud 9 a couple of times, etc. It has been CRAZY!! And now we see light at the end of the tunnel. Like maybe this road may have an ending to it.
While we were praying for our girls to come home soon the other day my wonderful husband prays "Lord, we know that this is not really the end but just the beginning". What!? Just the beginning? We have waited 3 1/3 LONG years, when they get here it better be a piece of cake, and make mine red velvet please, with cream cheese icing. I kind of looked at him funny and he said "what? You know it's true". And I do know, I just didn't want it to be said out loud.
So I guess that's not the right thing to say if I'm trying to say I've grown up. These last few years Micah and I have had to do some serious growing and stretching and lengthening. I feel like I've been on a taffy puller! But the patience and perseverance that we've learned is undeniable. We know now how weak and fragile we really are. We know how easily swayed we can be if not firmly grounded in the truth. We've realized that in ALL things to find strength in God first is easier than trying to do it by yourself for so long that you are so tired you have no other choice than to give it to God.
These last 3 1/2 years have been a very hard test, but as we near the end of this journey and start the next one I'm realizing that it wasn't a test but more of a lesson in how to handle the next phase of our lives. Teaching on how to ALWAYS rely on the Lord, even in the celebrations, remembering who got you through. His truths will be the rock I build my hopes on!