I feel like sometimes that this adoption process wants to take ALL of me! Like I am going to be on this never-ending process an I'll just be stuck here forever. One thing after another happens; we've had mishap after mishap. We've also had some awesome times as well but along with those times there has always been something that comes with it. Always something to try and come and steel my joy.
Here's where I'm at right now. We have found out that some more roadblocks have been thrown on the path that is our adoption. I have been weepy and cry-y all day. I am upset, frustrated, confused and not very fun to be around today. Then I picked up the book by Christine Caine called Undaunted. Wow!! I was reading in there today and was reminded how to get through these most trying times. Joy isn't happiness. Happiness is caused because of circumstances and it's okay that I'm not particularly happy about my circumstances. But I can't allow my circumstances to steal the joy the Lord always has for me! Joy comes despite my circumstances. Joy is knowing that God is good throughout and despite my circumstances. And that joy gives me strength. The joy in knowing that my Father is for me and not against me. That His plans for me are to prosper me and not to harm me. That what I feel is a test is just a lesson so that I can get through the next phase of life in abundance instead of hanging by a thread.
So here I sit, still weepy and sad that more crappola has been thrown at us, knowing that deep down I have joy. My joy comes from KNOWING that God is walking through this storm right beside me. His right hand is holding me up and giving me strength. Not just enough strength to barely get me through the situation but, if I ask Him for it, He will give me abundant strength to SOAR above my situation.